Home > job hunt, The Apartment > Rock and a Hard Place

Rock and a Hard Place

This week I had two interviews – one with a lawyer I met on Twitter, and one for a doc review agency.

Both were in DC.

The first interview was for the lawyer I kind-of knew. I got in the car. I drove to the metro. I walked to her office. And without traffic? That took 2 hours. Coming home in DC traffic took almost three and a half.

I live too far away from where the jobs are.

This isn’t news. I’ve known it for a while. I just didn’t know HOW far. And as I sat in traffic on 270 at a standstill yesterday, it became painfully obvious how far out of my reach all of these jobs were. It became obvious why no one was interested in looking at my resume. It was so obvious.

And for the first time in months, I just cried. Big, fat tears in my car, stuck in traffic, like an idiot. I called a friend. I cried some more. And I lamented that I had done everything right, worked hard, and done well, and this is what my situation has come to.

It got so bad that I called my dad, still crying, and told him that I felt like a big fat failure. I felt like, in my zeal to make the most responsible decisions that I could, I’d screwed myself. That I had no idea what to do next. That I was so scared and angry and frustrated that all the things that I wanted were so far out of my grasp. And like the fantastic father that he is, he just sat and listed for about fifteen minutes. And when I was done, he told me that maybe it was time for The Fiance and I to think about moving. That yes, it was more money. But that he’s got our backs. And did I still want to go to New York for my birthday?

Today I’m still going to the doc review interview (in fact, about the time this is published I’ll be walking in to it – wish me luck). And I’m going to look into what it would take to break our lease out here, get a subletter, and move into Northern Virginia, where I might have a prayer of finding a job, no matter how small. Where I can be in DC in under 2 hours. Where I can get to the Metro without driving an hour and twenty minutes (without traffic). Where John could also find something to  do in the short-term until the government actually hires him. I’m going to keep looking for administrative/paralegal jobs until I get my results. I’m not going to give up.

I tried. I tried really hard to like it out here, and in some ways I do. I tried to get excited about small town life. But, when it comes down to it, it’s too much. It’s too far. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it but change my location.

And in case you were wondering? My father is the very best father in the entire world. I’m so lucky.

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Categories: job hunt, The Apartment
  1. kelley715
    August 12, 2011 at 11:19 am

    I am so sorry things are going so rough for you right now. Small Town USA is not the place to be. My husband drives 1hr and 10min one way to work, and that is pretty much the norm where I live to find a good paying job. I can’t even say our small town is a NICE small town, because it’s not. It is awful. We stayed because the school used to be good (for the kids), and now it is really not a good school, but the kids are so close to graduating I don’t want to move them to another school. I wish you much luck in your job search and I will be sending you good job vibes for both you and John

  2. August 12, 2011 at 11:44 am

    ❤ hugs! After I finish typing this, I'm suiting up for an interview in a town 2.5 hrs from where I live. The job is a job I want but if I get it, I'd have to live in the county where it is located. Husband absolutely has to stay in the city we live, because he's starting grad school in 2 weeks. So I 100% feel your pain. Also, you are not a failure. I really believe everything happens the way it is supposed to. You will come out of this stronger and even more grateful for what you have than you would have been if you'd been handed a job like other people we know. Also, you are not alone. ❤

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