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Cast of Characters

I’ve got a few stories on the way, but before I dive right on it, I thought it might be useful for you to get the lay of the land with the characters and geography I’ll be talking about (probably ad nauseum) in this little corner of the internet.

First, I live in the eastern panhandle of West Virginia. I’m about 20 minutes from both Maryland and Virginia, and about an hour and a half (on a good day) from D.C. proper. The towns out here range from suburbs-without-a-city to “full of cute, rich hippies with sundresses” to “absolutely terrifying and depressing.” I live somewhere in the middle of all that.

I share an apartment with The Fiance. We’re both law school graduates and both studying for the bar (though I will not be talking about that at all. It bores even me, and I can’t imagine anyone else wanting to read about it). We’re that disgusting couple that met the very first day of law school orientation. He was really drunk. I wasn’t. I thought he was creepy. Turns out he’s just weird, but in an endearing kind of way that allows him to put up with me on a daily basis. He’s 9 years older than me, on his third or fourth career, depending on who you ask, and very sensitive when I tease him about being old. No, we do not have a date set for the wedding. Stop asking.

The Father-In-Law lives about 20 minutes away in one of those hippy-dippy small towns that’s dripping with money. Only he’s not hippy-dippy. He’s a hermit who loves his Lazy Boy, satellite TV, and the History Channel. He was the prosecutor in his county for roughly 30 years, is now in business for himself, and has an MA in history, to boot. He’s an all-around fantastic and charming human being, who I basically adore. He loves telling stories and teaching me things, and I’m basically convinced he knows everything. He’s also stereotypically a Boomer in that he’s stoic, but every once in a while, like when The Fiance and I told him we were engaged, he gets sentimental.

The Mother-In-Law lives about 30 minutes away in another small town. She’s divorced from The Father-In-Law, and is very devoted to all things churchy and old-fashioned. She’s a retired elementary school teacher. Until very recently she was NOT my biggest fan, because The Fiance and I are “living in sin.” However, upon our engagement, she seemed to stop hating me, and now refers to me by name, instead of “the living situation.” At graduation she expressed an interest in becoming “my new best friend.” I’m not sure if this is better or worse than her hating my ever living guts, but I’m betting on worse. She also has Opinions about how the wedding should happen, and is way more excited than is normal or appreciated about the coming event.

The Brother-In-Law lives with The Father-In-Law. He’s VERY handy, and has made himself a man-cave in the basement of his childhood home, built entirely with his own two hands. He can also drink a heroic amount of alcohol in one sitting. He comes off as pretty bro-tastic, but has a really good heart, and has a lot more to him than you may initially think. We’ve been known to stay up until 4am drinking, listening to music from the 90s, and watching random documentaries.

Other-Mom lives about 25 minutes away, and is the person who helped us find our gem of an apartment. She’s incredibly maternal, insightful, and loving, and will unofficially adopt anyone, including Father-in-Law. She also loves a good glass of wine or a beer, teasing you, and shooting the shit. She’s fiercely loyal and optimistic, and has never met a stranger. I kind of wish she’d adopt me officially. She and Other-Dad have gatherings almost every Sunday at their place. The mix of people changes every week, but there’s always good food, good beer, and games by the fire pit. Other-Mom also has three biological children and like, 30 cats.

Other-Dad lives with Other-Mom. He shares her kooky sense of humor and love of a good beer. He’s a fantastic cook, and a quiet but gracious host. Like Other-Mom, he’s also optimistic, and values his family and friends more than anything else.

The Neighbor lives across the hall. He’s the one-man welcome wagon. Very helpful, very nice, and very willing to include us in building activities, since everyone appears to get along. He’s also the unofficial building super.


And thus ends the list of the major players in this little tale. Hopefully soon I’ll have more stories, as well as photos to share with all (3) of you.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Chris S.
    May 27, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    Ooo! Am I one of the (3)?

  2. Ricky D.
    May 28, 2011 at 11:52 am

    The phrase “the living situation” brought forth the image of an undead The Situation, and with it a chuckle and a shudder. Thanks.

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